On Thursday 6 May, after more than a year, the first two corona-proof JBF workshops were planned at FC Den Bosch for the U18 and U16 youth teams. Paul Martin Raspe and Thijs Smeenk were present on behalf of the JBF. Today they were accompanied by NOS journalists Rivkah Op het Veld (Studio Sport) and Winfried Baijens (NOS Journaal). Together with their colleague Jeroen Gortworst, they are working on a five-part podcast about the climate surrounding the acceptance of homosexuality in professional football. The JBF invited them to participate in the workshop, with the approval of FC Den Bosch. (See also: www.johnblankensteinfoundation.nl)

The aim of the workshop is to work towards a Safe Sports Climate (VSK), in which everyone can express their feelings and emotions respectfully when desired. LGBTI+ is a new topic for many of these boys. As with workshops elsewhere, they too come to the conclusion that quite a few negative associations arise when asked what first comes to mind when they hear the word HOMO. And yet it is noticeable that these boys do not mean it in a negative way. “It's just a word I use easily, I don't mean anything by it.” Social media, news and media in general are cited as the main sources of this perception. After the coming-out stories of Thijs (O18) and Winfried (O16), an open discussion followed about coming out in their football team.

A number of boys indicated that they would need some time to get used to it, but that ultimately they would have no problem with it or would discuss it differently if a fictional teammate came out.

There were also boys who would have difficulty with this. They would not mention it directly, but would literally keep their distance. Especially in the changing room and showers. Even now that it is customary to shower in underwear, these boys find it difficult, although it is not immediately clear to them what the difference is compared to the previous three years when they also showered with their fictional teammate before he came out.
The same feeling of discomfort applies to group hugs and touching on the field, for example after a score. At first, this evokes associations with homosexual affection, which they do not like. They are particularly afraid of perceived feelings of love and sexual attraction, which would clearly not be reciprocated. After pointing out that this can also be purely friendly, as before, the conviction suddenly prevails that there may be ‘wrong intentions’ behind it.

This is what our workshop on VSK is about: how can I respectfully express my own boundaries and wishes? Even when discussing the suggestion that this fictional gay teammate should shower separately, there is more discomfort than aversion. Because if someone were to stand up and rudely disapprove of this fictional teammate on the basis of his sexual orientation (which, incidentally, is also setting a boundary), the team would defend him. Being able and allowed to discuss all these feelings and emotions in a team is possible in a Safe Sports Climate. The trainer/coach plays a key role in this, and the JBF is there to advise and guide teams and staff in this regard.

Coming out is about self-acceptance, which is often preceded by a profound inner process of fear and self-rejection, resulting in the beginning of acceptance of that part of yourself.
Conversely, this can also happen in heteronormative teams that are unexpectedly confronted with a coming out. Suddenly, something or someone comes very close, which in principle can be perceived as an acute threat. Rejection then becomes a defence mechanism. Recognising this is essential, as is giving people time and space to discover that nothing has actually changed.

FC Den Bosch, Thank you very much for your openness, commitment and excellent care!
We look forward to seeing you again soon!

The NOS podcast will be available from the end of May via the usual podcast channels.

If you would like to contact our confidential advisor (vcp) in response to this message, you can reach us via this link. Talking always helps!

Photographs: Niels Beenakkers