Report by Joost Mallo

What an experience. What an incredibly special experience.

On 4 November, the time had finally come for my first introduction (apart from the drinks reception) to the work of the John Blankenstein Foundation. As an expert by experience, I was invited to share my coming-out story with a group of students from Fontys University of Applied Sciences in Eindhoven. It was quite an experience.

Of course, I already knew about the JBF from the media, but after rainbow flags were confiscated before the start of a football match between the Netherlands and Hungary, I decided to commit myself to ‘the cause’. After a very enthusiastic introduction to Karin Blankenstein, I knew immediately that I had made the right decision.

I signed up to go to Eindhoven on 4 November, together with Paul Martin, Tim and Stefan, and so it was time to prepare my story. A special experience in itself. Wonderful conversations with my parents, memories of my grandmother, of my time at primary and secondary school. Memories with laughter and tears, but above all with a lot of gratitude.

Before I knew it, the time had come. With a healthy dose of nerves, I set off for Eindhoven and arrived at the University of Applied Sciences after an hour and a half's drive. A beautiful building that exudes sport. I read through my ’story’ one more time and I was 'as ready as I will ever be'.

After meeting the other JBF members, we headed to the room where the workshop would be held. The first group consisted of about eighteen students, the second of about eight. I was going to tell my story to the second group, so I didn't mind that there were fewer of them. Still, it was exciting, being my first time.

The workshop began. Everyone was given a short time to introduce themselves, stating their name and age, as well as something that no one else in the group knew about them. In retrospect, this was one of the most impressive moments for me. Paul Martin has always said that it's about creating a safe environment, and with this introduction, I immediately experienced that environment. Very personal, intimate and emotional things were shared, which immediately gave a feeling of being allowed to be vulnerable. During this first workshop, Paul Martin received everything without judgement, checked in with everyone to see how they were doing and created an environment in which a group of complete strangers could actually share everything with each other.

Tim shared his coming-out story during the first workshop, in which loneliness plays an important role. This elicited a special and emotional response from one of the attendees, which was touching to witness. Afterwards, Paul Martin concluded the workshop and it was time for the next group.

During the introductory round, I shared with the group that I would be telling my story later and that I was feeling nervous about it. It was wonderful to see the participants discussing certain behaviours with each other during the workshop. Stefan, who had also just started at the JBF, made a valuable contribution to the conversation. And before I knew it, it was time.

Armed with a post-it note with keywords, I began my story. What I found remarkable was that it really felt like a safe environment, one where my story was heard and respected. The students listened attentively and before I knew it, after looking at the Post-it note just once, it was already over. The students were given the opportunity to ask questions and I was given the opportunity to answer them. And then it was already over, this first time at the John Blankenstein Foundation.

It was nice to discuss it afterwards with the other JBF members. All in all, it was a very special experience. Here's to many more to come...